Today I had my first job interview for 15 years. It was for a part time job in a school. It sounded right up my street in terms of hours and experience. The only problem was that it was in a Christian school. I may be a hypocrite, and I admit I would have put my principles to one side just to get the job. But as I was sitting in reception waiting for the headteacher to meet me, I wondered what I was doing there.
The huge teddy bear sat next to me didn't make things easier. I read the notice next to it, which said 'put a prayer in my rucksack, for anything you would like us to pray for at assembly. Maybe for someone to get better, maybe to improve the world around us.'. I tried not to roll my eyes, remembering that anything that relieves children's anxieties is a good thing. I was staring at me with its accusatory eyes. I looked away and read their Christian values.
The interview went really well. Religion aside, it was a lovely place, where the children seemed happy and the staff relaxed. Unfortunately I shot myself in the foot. Asked how I would integrate the Christian ethos into the children's learning, I admit I drew a blank. I should have thought about that one.
Mentioning 'my partner' wasn't a smart move either. I realised later that it implies that I was either a lesbian, or not married. Neither of those sit well with some Christians. Well, we live and learn.
Anyway, they seemed really enthusiastic about me and seemed to like me. I liked them too, and could visualise myself in the school. But probably the niggling plan of how I could move on to better things after a year there wasn't a good sign. You should never be greedy with your ambitions. They always come and bite you on the backside. I walked away thinking I'd bagged it, until I walked past 'the next applicant'. She was blonde, and I knew this was going to be a problem. Aren't blondes more successful? They always seem to marry the rich men, land the high powered jobs, get ahead in the world. Well, let me tell you that this was no different. The blonde got the job. Something to do with more experience apparently, but I know better. Or maybe she just played the Christian card. I'm sure you don't have to be Christian to work there, but it helps.
I was very disappointed not to get the job, and I wondered if I hadn't been a bit deluded. Everyone in the family had a theory, and partner said I shouldn't have mentioned I was a satanist, ha ha.
I'm off to buy a blonde wig. I don't care if it makes me look like a tacky old thing or if it doesn't quite suit my complexion. I am prepared to test my theory at the next interview, if I'm lucky enough to get one.