I have been learning a lot about sex lately. Or rather about the way schools teach it, and kids perceive it.
Lots of gems have come out in the process. It seems they do it in stages these days (the teaching). First stage was watching a video. According to my beloved daughter, it started with a man running after a woman and tickling her with a feather. So far so weird. They were both naked, and thankfully they were cartoon characters.
Right, so the guy eventually catches up with her, she presumably likes the feather, and they find themselves on the floor, the woman sitting on top of him. First question from my child: why was she sitting on him. If schools think they help matters by teaching sex ed, they should explain that you can do it in different positions, because I tried to dodge the question, but relented under the grilling she gave me.
Our cartoon lovers are now on their sides, 'wiggling against each other', as kiddo puts it. Second question: do you have to wiggle when you 'do sex'? (she says 'sex' like Miranda)
They're also shown lying on top of each other. Cripes! I didn't know they were teaching the Kama Sutra at school. How many positions do they actually have to show them.
At some point, and I am too aghast to remember the chronology of events, they show a girl and a boy and go over how different their genitals are. The cartoon girl runs away, and then she starts to do a handstand. The camera zooms in on her genitals. Pertinent question from my girl: why does she feel the need to do a handstand?
Actually, I made a mistake. The first stage was the teacher reading a story from the bible. It said that evil is made of one of Adam's rib, and that boys have fewer ribs for that reason. When she reported that to me, we looked at each other, confused, and burst out laughing.